by Travis Plumlee, Family Ark Ministries
Please tell me we are not going to have to spank Bud during Christmas dinner. How sad that we have to yell at little Budette while opening Christmas presents. Oh surely not! You don’t mean that we might have to spank our kids because they misbehave at a Christmas get-together! Actually, the holiday time is a heightened time for kids to act out and misbehave. It is wise for parents to plan ahead what they will do, and how they will respond when their kids do disobey during the holidays. Just because it is the most wonderful time of the year, does not mean that we can ignore our children’s rebellion, or disobedience or dishonoring actions and attitudes. Parenting is a 365 day a year job. Your children must never disobey or dishonor you at any time. This will mean that sometimes kids will pick the most inopportune times to embarrass you in front of the whole family. Why? There are several reasons. Routine Disruption. Kids always function much better in a routine. It offers them a security system to operate in from day to day. While holidays are awesome, it upsets the apple cart. During the holidays, children generally get less sleep. That accounts for more whining, irritability and anger outburst. This also is a period where we eat a very unusual diet for most of us. Kids tend to eat more sweets, more carbs and things that they don’t normally eat. Food does have an effect on behavior. Then, think of how you can kind of get stressed out over the holidays with all the parties, church functions and family get-togethers. Don’t you think that it also stresses out kids? They are out of their normal routines. Anytime we have a change in our routines, it throws kids into a chaotic state. This is why you might see an exaggerated acceleration of misbehavior during the holidays. Generally, they are not doing it on purpose to annoy you. They are simply responding to the environment that they have been placed in. So, let’s look at some things to remember regarding discipline during the holidays.
1) Stick to a reasonable routine. Try as much as possible, to allow your kids to be in a normal routine of sleep. It is okay to let them have a night where they stay up late and play with cousins, or older teens stay up and play video games and watch movies. Don’t be a killjoy. These are fun times. But having no bedtime during the holidays is a recipe for behavioral meltdown eventually. Also, you should let them indulge in holiday foods. Come on, It’s Christmas! But you should set limits. Hershey kisses and 50 candy canes in a day is too much. You will pay for that later that night. Tank up on sugar all day, and watch the fireworks that night.
2) Discipline in private. When disciplining your children, try hard to do it in private. I know it is hard when the whole family is around, but remove the guilty and speak to them privately. The older the child, the more important this is. If you have a teen, to get on to them in front of all the relatives, is a huge hurt. They are not even listening to you. They are just devastated that grandparents and cousins saw them get into trouble. Humiliation is all they are learning at this point.
3) Don’t let other family members tell you how to discipline your child. Everyone will have an opinion on what needs to happen. Stick to what you always do. If you need to improve in your discipline skills, do so after the holidays. Don’t try and implement a new system of justice just to impress the in-laws. Start it as a New Year’s resolution when you get home. Don’t over react or let things slide because some loving family member tells you that you should. Stick to what are your family rules.
4) Watch your stress level. Long trips. Less sleep. Sugar overload. The tension of being around relatives all in one house. It effects your temperament as well. So don’t lash out at the kids just because you are stressed out. Pray and take a deep breath. Ask yourself, would I be losing it like this if I was in my normal routine? Monitor your own behavior.
5) Notice when the volcano is spewing ash. Long before there is a volcanic eruption, the mountain is smoking. Pay attention to your kids. You have been ignoring them. You may need to spend some time out of the kitchen, away from the TV and just hang with them. You should be aware of when they are getting too hungry, too sleepy, too upset and intervene before they explode. If dinner isn’t until 2:00 p.m, and they eat lunch at 11:00, then you better fix them a small snack, and don’t wait until they have a glucose crash and start screaming. A snack won’t ruin dinner. Having them pitch a fit will. Pray a lot. Laugh a lot. Enjoy your family. Be wise and don’t take a holiday from disciplining your children. Thank God for your gifts – your children!
published in December issue of The Missouri Missionary Baptist paper.
