Articles

Evangelism in Death and Loss
What Does Jesus Have to Say Regarding Stages of Death and Loss?

Tony Cleaver prepared for Chapel South Texas School of Christian Studies
October 13, 2016

INTRODUCTION
Student Scripture Reading: Job 2: 11-13; and Job 16: 1-5

Jesus did not leave the work of evangelism to the banking industry. He did not leave it to governmental agencies-particularly political parties. He did not leave it to secular educational institutions. He did not leave it to any corporate entity. He left the work of evangelism to those who are called by His
Name – Christians. He left it to those who work for Christ and His Church.

Doing the work of an evangelist is a day by day normal and full time occupation. It comes from a life of piety. Piety is a good word. It simply means the practice of one’s faith. Evangelism comes from that inner glow of knowing Christ; rather perhaps of being known by Him. Our lives glow with Him to an expression of evangelism. Sometimes we have to use words in evangelism.

You have heard the reading of the Job passages. The comforters were at fist good and positive. They kept their mouths shut. They sat down with Job in the ashes of his pain. Later Job called them miserable comforters. They had plied Job with secular philosophies of the day-and they are still prevalent. Young men and women don’t be miserable comforters when you minister to family, neighbors, or parishioners in
death or loss. Do not ever say to a parent, “God took your little boy/girl because He needed another angel in heaven.”

That is absolutely false! Do not ever say to a grieving spouse at the loss of a mate, “I know just how your feel.” No, you don’t! Simply say “I am sorry for your loss. Please accept my sympathy.” As those who work for Christ and His Church we need to be aware of some of the feelings of death and loss. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her seminal 1969 book On Death and Dying brought to the forefront some valid stages we need to be
aware of as we minister to people in death and loss. It is not the words of Kubler-Ross that are able to salve the soul. We must take the message and words of Jesus to those who are gripped with the agony of death and loss.

DENIAL
As we come to death and loss, what does Jesus have to say about denial? “I can’t believe this is happening. I just saw her/him yesterday. This isn’t happening; this can’t be happening.” It is a normal reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock of the loss. We block out the words and hide from the facts. This is a temporary response that carries us through the
fist wave of pain.

Jesus talked with a very educated and religiously experienced man named Nicodemus in John 3. Nicodemus was unbelieving and in denial at what Jesus told him. “How can this be?” Nicodemus asked. Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.” “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

So for those caught in the throes of denial, we must share the words of hope to be born from above by the very words of the living Christ.

ANGER
The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Anger may be directed at our dying or deceased loved one. Emotionally, however, we may resent the person for causing us pain or for leaving us. They may begin to feel anger at the loss and the unfairness of it. What are the words of Jesus at anger? Look at John 11 as it speaks of death at the Lazarus family. Both sisters, one by one, come to express some anger toward Jesus for allowing their brother to die. “Lord,” Martha said to
Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

These are the words of Jesus to a grieving sister. These are the words to a grieving family today who is angry at God for allowing this to happen in their family. Now Mary gets into the act: “When Mary reached
the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

It is interesting Jesus’ response: 35 “Jesus wept.” It is perfectly allowable and desirable for you to minister to those in death and loss with feelings expressed in your own tears. Yet Jesus’ tears came through in great words that we can share with those like Mary: “When he had said this, Jesus called
in a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come out!’” “The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of
linen, and a cloth around his face.” Jesus’ words bring life to those who have no hope in the
hopelessness of death and loss.

BARGAINING
In this stage, people beg their “higher power” to undo the loss, saying things along the lines of, “I’ll change if you bring her (or him) back to me”. This phase usually involves promises of better behavior or significant life changes which will be made in exchange for the reversal of the loss. What does Jesus have to say regarding this stage of death and loss? In Matthew 5:6 we read these words: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filed.” This beatitude tells us that Jesus Himself will fill us with all that we long for. Hunger is a gnawing pain. Thirst is still more intense. A drink of water becomes more desirable than the gold that glitters on the figer of wealth. Jesus will
give us our fill for He is that bread of life.

As we come to the Lord’s Table we are celestially nourished on His body and on His blood that came down from heaven. The bargain is that he will supply our needs as we come to Him.

DEPRESSION
Sadness and regret predominate this type of depression. We worry about the costs and burial. We worry that, in our grief, we have spent less time with others that depend on us. This phase may be eased by simple clarification and reassurance. We may need a bit of helpful cooperation and a few kind words. The second type of depression is more subtle and, in a sense, perhaps more private. It is our quiet preparation to
separate and to bid our loved one farewell. Sometimes all we really need is a hug.

What does Jesus have to say about this stage of death and loss? His words to us in Matthew 6.13 are these: “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” Depression is a terrible state and can overcome our very being at time of death and loss. It can incapacitate us, make us miserable, and lead us to behaviors that are not rational. There is evil in this world. Like Simon Peter, the “roaring lion” does go about to eat us up. The strength and power of His words here are for a purpose. If we are in trouble, call for help. If we are drowning, call the lifeguard. Jesus knew we would need help as those who wear skin suits. So He put this part in His Model Prayer for us who are in dire need due to
death and loss.

ACCEPTANCE
Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone. Death may be sudden and unexpected or we may never see beyond our anger or denial. It is not necessarily a mark of bravery to resist the inevitable and to deny ourselves the opportunity to make our peace. This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm. This is not a period of happiness and must be distinguished from depression. Finally (if all goes according to Dr. Kubler-Ross’s plan), people enter a stage of Acceptance where they have processed their initial grief emotions, are able to accept that the loss has occurred and cannot be undone, and are once again able to plan for their futures and re-engage in daily life.

What does Jesus have to say about this phase of death and loss? We read His words in Matthew 6. 10: “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Wow! What a big part of the Model Prayer from His lips and from His heart!

Can you imagine right now any corner of heaven that His will is not being done by myriads and myriads of those around the throne? Certainly not! As we come to see that our place is here on earth to move along in life to do His will, how marvelous that we can share in this glorious adventure! How wonderful to know that Jesus loves me. The most profound fact in the world is in the little song:

“Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so.”

CONCLUSION
Doing the work of an evangelist is a daily task that must be normal in our life routine. We will encounter death and loss. We will encounter it with family, friends, and parishioners. Only the words of Jesus can offer any hope or consolation to those gripped in its terrible throes.

John Bunyan tells the story of the man with the muck rake. We need to remind ourselves of this story
and we must remind those in death and loss of this story. The man with the muck rake could only look down to rake the muck (Those who live on a farm understand what muck in a barn full of animals really is.) He would back and forth rake the straw, the sticks the dirt, and the muck-back and forth and back and forth.
Day in and day our his work was to work the muck-always face toward the ground as the dust of muck and dirt and straw filed his nostrils and clouded his vision. He could look no way but down. Above him stood an angel who proffered (offered-I love that word proffered) him a golden crown. If he would only look up to see the celestial being and the golden crown offered him! But he would not look up. He kept raking the muck, the sticks, and the straw. All he time the angel held out the offer of the golden crown.

Young ladies and young men, there is an angel offering a golden crown to us who minister to those in grief and loss. If only we would look up. If only we could see the words of Jesus! There is a golden crown to those who are in despair. We must take the words of Jesus to them so they can look up!

The 6th Annual Men’s Fall Retreat was attended by fourteen men and boys from four churches, Bethany St. Louis, Kewanee New Madrid, First Matthews, Zion St. Louis. Friday evening, we were blessed with BBQ ribs, slaw, and potato salad. Everyone seemed to enjoy the door prize drawing and the snacks. Bro. Joey Duckworth presented an excellent and very timely devotional on discipleship. His devotion focused on Barnabas the encourager. Very little is written in the New Testament about Barnabas, but his life testimony had a great impact on the ministries of others. Bro. Duckworth shared the joy and responsibility of his ministry of disciplining the young men of Kewanee. Bro. James Hoffann blessed us by sharing his life testimony. He shared how God had provided every need for both himself and his family, because he was faithful to God’s calling. Saturday morning started with egg burritos and pancakes. Bro. Brent Baker gave a great devotional on the importance of living a separated life before marriage. After breakfast we enjoyed the annual Archery Contest followed by lunch.

Dennis Baker

Thankfulness is an important subject to the apostle Paul and in the Word of God as a whole. Some combination of the word is found 169 times in 162 verses in the NASB and 195 times in 186 verses in the NET Bible. Paul uses the concept over 40 times in his epistles and seven times in Colossians alone (cf. 1:2, 3, 12; 2:7; 3:15, 17; 4:2). The concept of thankfulness in the New Testament comes from the use of two Greek words. The fist is charizomai, which comes from charis, “grace.” The second is homologeo, “to confess, acknowledge,” (Heb. 13:15), (cf. also exomologeo, [Matt. 11:25]). Thankfulness is a mental and/or verbal expression of one’s acknowledgement and appreciation of God’s person, His grace, blessings, and sovereign work in one’s life and the world. Some key ideas related to thankfulness are: biblical understanding, trust, humility and grace, the right focus and values, and joy. It is through the possession and function of these qualities that we become thankful. So, why should we be thankful?

Some General Reasons Why We Should Be Thankful

1. Because it honors God. When we are thankful, we recognize that God exists, and we are acting on the reality of His life as the very source and means of ours. True thankfulness recognizes our total dependence on God and stems from realizing that everything going on in our lives and all we have is the product of God’s sovereign control, infinite wisdom, purposes, grace, and activity (2 Cor. 4:15).

2. Because it is commanded in Scripture. First, the Psalms are filed with the call to give thanks. An example is Ps. 100:4 which says, “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” Then Paul
tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “In everything keep on giving thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus
for you” (my translation). In Colossians, he twice gives the command to be thankful (3:15, 17).

3. Because of the dangerous consequences of thanklessness: Thanklessness is dangerous to self and others. It dishonors God and leads to proud humanism or dependence on man rather than God (cf. Rom. 1:21).

In addition, it leads to bitterness, complaining, and a joyless life (Heb. 12:15). Since thankfulness is a response to the grace of God, its opposite, bitterness with its companions, complaining and grumbling, are the product of an unthankful heart that fails to properly respond to God in faith to His person, infinite wisdom, grace and purposes. Thanklessness promotes pettiness and occupation with self, people, and problems. That in turn creates depression and feelings of hopelessness because
we become focused on our problems rather than on the Lord. But thanks be to God who always leads us in triumphal
procession in Christ and who makes known through us the fragrance that consists of the knowledge of him in every place
(2 Cor. 2:14).

This verse in 2 Corinthians demonstrates that a thankful and God-focused person counts on God and His triumph and
will manifests the sweet fragrance of a life filed with the knowledge of Christ rather than the spirit of bitterness and
complaining. Thankfulness, then, becomes a spiritual barometer; it is an evidence of the condition of our spiritual life and value system, which should give us a warning if we have ears to hear (cf. Eph. 5:4 & 20 and note the context of each verse.
For verse 4, the context or focus is living as children of God rather than as children of the world [cf. vs.1]; for verse 20, the context or focus is the fruit of the Spirit [cf. vs. 18]). -copied-

A healthy approach to church growth and revitalization
Todd West • Director of Church Solutions • DiscipleGuide

More than ever before, pastors and churches are realizing that they must come together and discover how to move forward in
“such a time as this.” We can’t do this alone, and, honestly, God never intended for us to do it that way. We now have thirty- seven BMA churches from seven diffrent states that have joined the Activate movement. We expect at least forty other churches to join us in 2017. After two years, Activate is proving to be a “go to” ministry for many churches of all sizes and ages who simply want to be healthier.

Levels

Activate is a level-based ministry where churches can move at their own pace throughout the process. If you decide to join
Activate, you will immediately receive level one by e-mail. Upon completion, we will e-mail you the next level. Each level contains suggestions for your Activate team meetings, a clear explanation of the tools, and other content to enhance your process.

Selecting an Activate Team

In level one of Activate, each local church selects a team from their church that represents a cross section of people from the congregation. Selecting people of various ages, both genders, and a healthy combination of newer and long-term members has
proven to be effctive. Using the tools provided through Activate, the team partners with the pastor to help discover unique
challenges and potential solutions for greater health. The Activate team will regularly report discoveries to the entire congregation in what is called “Activate Congregation Workshops.” This process is designed to move an informed and unifid church forward.

Pastor Huddles

Many of our current Activate pastors are enjoying the benefits of the pastors’ huddle. Most of these take place in the pastors’ local area every four to six weeks, but some have chosen an on-line huddle option. Here are the advantages:
• Receive coaching from your huddle leader on your current Activate level.
• Gain insight from other Activate pastors.
• Find encouragement from pastors in a positive environment.
• Praying for and celebrating the wins in our churches.

Activate Orientations

Each year we host several orientations in various states with on-line options available as well. The orientation is a “no cost” and “no commitment” event. I would encourage you to recruit other pastors from your area to join you for the orientation, because this will benefit you greatly. Pastors, just show up for one of these three-hour events, and feel free to bring staff members or key church leaders.

Here’s how the orientation will benefit you:

• Hear from pastors currently involved in Activate.
• Gain insight into how Activate can help unite your church around a biblical process that leads to greater health.
• Get hands-on experience in how the Activate tools work.
• Learn how Activate can encourage pastors and help them sharpen their leadership skills.
• Learn how Activate respects the uniqueness and autonomy of every church.
• Connect and build relationships with other pastors, church staff members, associational leaders, and church leaders.

Upcoming Activate Orientations

November 29 (9 a.m. – noon), Farley Street Baptist Church, Waxahachie, TX
December 8 (9 a.m. – noon), Oasis Church, North Little Rock, AR
December 13 (9 a.m. – noon), On-line Activate Orientation
(E-mail hsorrells@insideoasis.com for instructions to join on-line.)

Scott Attebery, DiscipleGuide
Scary. Exhilarating. Trusting.
It was my fist summer at church camp. Recreation time was almost over. We were hot, tired, and ready to swim in the pool. Our recreation leader announced that we had one more activity. He asked for a volunteer. I was all too eager. The leader placed me on a platform about six feet of of the ground. Next, he arranged the rest of my group on the ground into two rows, starting at the base of the platform, facing each other with arms straight ahead crossing each other. Looking down from the platform (which now felt more like sixty feet tall), my team formed a landing pad -for me! Before the leader gave me instructions, I already knew what I was supposed to do: fall backwards into the arms of my team. That’s right, backwards –as in, without being able to see where I would land. It was a call to extreme trust. Everything within me wanted to climb down from the platform. Some of my teammates didn’t look very strong. What if they dropped me? The recreation leader, seeing the look of uncertainty of my face, pulled me aside and said something I’ve never forgotten: “We are stronger when we work together.” I still wasn’t completely confident, but I knew what I had to do. I had to trust the group. (Besides, I couldn’t let the cute blond-headed girl see me back down.) I placed my feet on the edge of the platform with my back turned toward my group. With a deep breath, I took the plunge. What a sensation!

Scary. Exhilarating. Trusting.
Time stood still for a moment. And then, all of a sudden, it was over. My team caught me! I yelled, “Let’s do it again!”
Today, I stand on a different platform. Together with the entire DiscipleGuide team, we have placed our toes on the edge, and we are about to lean back. We are trusting you to catch us. Two years ago, we realized the need to improve our associational curriculum. Church leaders shared their concerns with us. They loved the biblical content of our material, but wanted more
focus on relevant application and greater helps for teachers. Curriculum development is a process. It does not happen overnight. We knew that to make the improvements churches were asking for would require time and resources –both of which
are difficult to come by when you have a small staff Keeping the current curriculum on schedule is a great enough challenge, but to add the development of future improvements is almost impossible. That’s why we began reprinting the writings of Dr. E. Harold Henderson. Since these writings were already proofed and edited, it afforded us time to focus on improvements. We used that time to interview teachers and leaders from various churches and find out what our congregations need. And, at the same time, we were able to assemble a stable of talented BMA writers. The past two years of curriculum planning and development
have been like climbing up the platform at camp. Every rung requires energy and hard work. Now we have completed the work
and are ready to present it to our churches. How does it feel?

Scary. Exhilarating. Trusting.
We have taken a huge risk. After working hard to address everyone’s needs, we know that not everyone will care for all of
the improvements. Curriculum funds the greatest portion of our budget. Proceeds help us to invest into church revitalization efforts. To make any changes to our curriculum is a risk to our finances and, as a result, our ability to help churches. But I believe it is worth the risk to create better curriculum that will serve our churches more effectively. It is at this moment in time that I recall the words of the recreation leader at camp: “We are stronger when we work together.” I believe you will love the improvements we have made to Compass. But even if the improvements aren’t exactly what you would have preferred, we still need you to catch us. We are not a huge business with a massive research and development budget. We are a ministry of the BMA. We are your brothers and sisters in associational work. We are trying to serve you in the best way we know how.

• If you want us to keep making improvements in the future, please catch us.
• If you want to continue having BMA curriculum written by BMA writers, please catch us.
• If you want to see improvements to student and children’s materials as our next project (including a return to printed materials) please catch us.

The winter edition of Compass has gone to print. We are currently taking orders. We are all in and there is no turning back.
If every adult class in every BMA church will purchase compass this winter, this could be the beginning of a new era in BMA curriculum! Call 800.333.1442 or go to discipleguide.org to order.
We are trusting in our association. We are stronger together. Will you catch us?

The Alive Student Conference 2016 will be held Dec. 29-31 at the DoubleTree by the Hilton Hotel in Chesterfield, Mo. The deadline for special room rate is Dec. 1. Each student must have a medical release form in case of accident or illness, and each church is responsible for collecting and keeping the medical releases for its students. The form and other information about the conference — including registration, order forms and a schedule of events — are available at alivestudentconference.org. A conference T-shirt will be provided for all who register by Dec. 5. T-shirts will be handed out at the Alive registration table outside the
ballroom of hotel between 3:00 and 6:45 on Dec. 29.

Speaker: This year’s speaker is Brad Russell. “I became a follower of Christ when I was six years old and answered God’s call
to His ministry at the age of 16,” said Russell. “For six and a half years, I served as associate pastor, youth pastor and school administrator for Salem Baptist Church in Marble Hills, Mo., where I was licensed and ordained into God’s ministry. I accepted God’s call to come to First Baptist Church in Arnold in 2008 to serve as pastor to College & Career and Young Professionals.”

This year’s worship leaders are Sound City, a collection of musicians who call City Church in Conway, AR their home church. Their stated mission is to use music to help people experience Jesus. “If you leave only talking about the band, we have done
something wrong,” they said. “We want to worship our God and King alongside of you as we continue to realize how much He
loves us together.

Illusionist: The conference will also feature Christian Illusionist Zak Mirzadeh, who spent 2011-2015 as a key member
of the epic show known as M?ZE (a part of Reach Your City.) He is now branching of to perform his own show, “Nothing
Up My Sleeve.” This show will instill wonder in the audience and draw in every person to become a participant. Zak
interweaves his persona and story into his show to lead people to the Good News. Zak grew up as a Muslim, faithful to his
religion and praying fie times every day. Due to incredible circumstances, he grew up in a fatherless household. At the
age of 17, Zak was confronted with a reality that was very different from his upbringing. He was brought face-to-face with the truth of who Jesus is. As a part of “Nothing Up My Sleeve,” Zak weaves in his story what it was like to grow up in a religious household and how the Gospel of Jesus transformed his life.

Recreation: Recreation this year will take place at the hotel. Attached to the hotel is a huge Athletic Club that will
be rented during conference recreation time. They have basketball, volleyball, racquetball, walleyball, a swimming pool and tennis courts and a meeting area that will be great to just sit down and chat, play cards or a board game that you bring. There will also be a few surprises, and there will be something for everyone. Participants will also likely get to try
something they have never done before — knocker ball.

I had the privilege of filling the pulpit at Lower Doe Run Baptist Church near Ellington, Temple Baptist Church in Belgrade and Bethany Baptist Church in St. Louis this past month. I also enjoyed preaching at Landmark Baptist Church in DeSoto as they celebrated their 84th Anniversary the first Sunday of October.

It is time for our annual association meeting and I hope to see many of our churches represented at Bethel Baptist Church in Sikeston October 22nd. We need this time of fellowship and planning for the work of our association of churches for the next year. Your input is helpful and necessary if we are going to be unified in our efforts for the Lord.Pastor Jerry Adams and Bethel Baptist Church welcome this meeting and we look forward to being with them. Let’s fill their building with people ready to go forward for Christ. Please join me and our special missions committee in praying for a new church plant during this next associational year. Is your church interested in planting a church somewhere in Missouri? Do
you know of a preacher who feels led of God to start a new
work in our state? Let’s unite our efforts to see this become
a reality soon.

I am anxious to hear the reports of all our committees and departments at this annual meeting. God is working in our churches and it is good to hear what is happening around our state. We will be electing our President and Vice President at this meeting along with considering recommendations of all committees and departments.

Please come and be involved in this great meeting.