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Reconciling Your Marriage

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by Travis Plumlee

The skills I will list in this article are not just for couples with hurting marriages. They are good skills for all married couples to employ to resolve issues that come up in the marriage. However, for a couple with troubles, these are the keys to helping you get your marriage back on track. The first thing you need to know is Luke 1:37. “For with God, nothing shall be impossible.” There is no problem that God cannot solve. He desires for all marriages to make it. All of heaven is pulling for you two. All the resources of heaven are at your disposal – Philippians 4:19. If both of you believe the bible and who God is; then you are going to be able to get through this. You will be able to be reconciled and restored. It is not too hard. Christ will give you strength – Philippians 4:13. If you don’t know what to do; ask God. He will give you wisdom – Hebrews 1:5. And you must never do what you think is best. You must do what God knows is best, and sometimes it won’t make sense to you. You may not even like what He leads you to do. But it will always be the right thing to do. Proverbs 3:5, 6.

Here are some things that couples can do to help improve their marriages.

ADDRESS all issues one at a time. We have to clear the air. We have to unpack stuff that has been in the marriage for a long time that keeps causing problems over and over again. As a couple, you may play like it is done. But then it keeps coming back doesn’t it? You have to solve all issues. Current ones, and those that are still lying there unresolved in the marriage suitcase. But don’t unpack the whole thing in one night. That’s an all-nighter to avoid. You need to work on one thing per week. Just discuss one subject at a time, and call each other’s attention when the conversation starts drifting to other subjects. One subject at a time. Don’t overload the plate. Communicate and negotiate a solution.

ADMIT attitudes and action that need to change. This is a difficult thing that most couples will never be honest about. It’s not always pleasant, but the alternative is to just live with irritability or pain the rest of your life. Let’s be honest. Grow up and speak the truth IN LOVE. Ephesians 4:15. You must both be humble and talk about very specific things to change. Clarify if you don’t understand. “What do you mean when you say that I nag too much? Or I put you down all the time in front of others?” Be specific with behaviors. I can’t do anything with the statement, “You make me so mad!” I can change a behavior. “You make me mad when you refuse to help me around the house.” That is specific, and we can negotiate how to deal with that. You are negative. That can be a specific attitude to work on.

APOLOGIZE. Seems simple and easy. But it is very hard for some people to ever do. If you can’t ever apologize, then you have some personal spiritual issues you need to grow through before we tackle the marriage issues. You may need to get rid of your pride. James 4:10. Or it may not be pride. You may have low self-esteem issues that prevent you from understanding that no one is perfect, yet you are still loved and accepted by God. You see everything that you must apologize for as a direct attack on your self-worth. You can’t admit mistakes or you will feel unworthy. So, you defend your fort at all cost. You need to study specific scripture and come to know who you are in Christ. Then, apologize as needed.

ACCEPT responsibility for your actions. The second part of this is to ACCEPT the consequences of your behavior. For example, if you lied to your spouse, then apologize, accept responsibility for it; and then understand that there will be consequences. You broke the trust bond. It can be re-earned, but it will take some time. You must show your mate again through actions that you can be trusted. This takes time. Do not make statements like, ”Well, I wouldn’t have done it if you would have…” That is what I mean when I say you are not taking responsibility for your actions. Your spouse doesn’t make you do wrong. You choose to do that in response to them. But it is still your choice. Own it.

ALTER your behavior. You have to actually change. All people can change. But lasting change requires it to be from the inside out. Not the other way. We can all change momentarily for a week to better behavior. But for lasting change, it requires the Holy Spirit. Ask God for change. You must mean it. He knows your true heart. You can’t just tell God to change you to make your partner happy. He knows if you are sincere. It will take time. You will mess up again, but keep moving forward. God can heal, change and grow all people. Seek God with your whole heart. Jeremiah 29:13. Finally, ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness is deeper than apology. And a good marriage is based upon two good forgivers. You must ask for it quickly, and you must always give it. After forgiveness, comes the work on your feelings. Just be obedient first, and then God will work on the junk in time. God bless you both on your journey.

Family Ark Ministries
Travis Plumlee, Director
P.O. Box 163 • Mountain View, Arkansas 72560
E-mail: kingofthemountain@mvtel.net
WebSite: travisplumlee.com

VSM Basketball Team Heads To The Philippines

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This year’s Volunteer Student Missions Basketball team will travel to the Philippines to work with Evangelistic International Ministries and local BMAA missionaries. The team will lead in 3 man tournaments, basketball camps for younger children, play exhibition games, lead in youth camps and youth rallies and speak in local churches. Each year the team prepares a service project to benefit the local mission. This year the team will distribute Shepherd Bags to local children. The eight member team finished a weekend of training in Magnolia which prepared them to lead in music, testimonies, evangelistic presentations as well as teaching various basketball skills.

Team VSM Philippines members are:
Back Row: (l to r) Tyler Brantley is a Sophomore at Central Baptist College from Mt. Union Baptist Church in Junction City, Arkansas. Tyler Sykora is a graduate of Southern Arkansas University from First Baptist Church in Magnolia, Arkansas, Zek Ross is a Senior from Majestic View Baptist Church in Kiowa, Colorado.

Middle Row: (l to r) Team Coach Jimmy Walker is Church & School Administer for Garrett Memorial Baptist Church in Hope, Arkansas. Team Leader Stan Scroggins is Music & Missions pastor for First Baptist Church in Magnolia, Arkansas.

Front Row: (l to r) Mason Moses is a Senior from Garrett Memorial Baptist Church in Hope, Arkansas. Caleb Smith is a Senior from Majestic View Baptist Church in Kiowa, Colorado. Seth Foster is a Senior from Garrett Memorial Baptist Church in Hope, Arkansas.

It is time to begin making plans for our team for the Summer of 2014.
Interested players are encouraged to contact Stan Scroggins at First Baptist Church in Magnolia, Arkansas stan@fbcmagnolia.com (870)562-9409.

Preparations For Camp

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by Chris Polk • Camp Director

It’s hard to believe it’s already June. There’s only a few weeks left until camp week. Be praying for our speaker, Bro. Wade Allen; the Harper Family leading us in song; the Kitchen staff preparing the grub; and the teachers for our class sessions.
Speaking of teachers we need some for these age groups 8-9, 5-7, 3-4, 0-2 year olds.

But, also be praying for the church sponsors and campers that God would move in their lives in a mighty way.

The theme this year, Hero’s of the Faith, “…of whom the world was not worthy.” Hebrews 11:38, is a very broad theme. There are many men and women who have been faithful to serve, have endured many trials and who’s lives and experiences are encouraging to us in our everyday walk. When we think of Christian hero’s most of us have someone come to mind as having influenced our lives in some manner. Earlier this year I asked for some of your hero stories. This month I received a couple that I would like to share with you.

Rebekah Son wrote: There are many great heroes of the faith. One that stands out to me is Esther. No, Esther was not perfect. The Bible does not say any of her sins, but God alone is perfect. Esther faced certain death to try and save her people. She was brave when she went before King Ahasuerus to ask for a banquet. She was especially brave in pointing out who was trying to kill her people, God’s chosen. Esther to me is far more than a girl who won the world’s first known beauty contest. She is a woman who saved her people with her bravery.

Micah Son wrote: My Hero of faith is the Biblical character Joshua. Joshua’s faith began under Moses when Joshua was commanded to search out the land of Canaan. He came back with the same report as the other eleven men, but his faith prevailed above the ten other men. One other by the name of Caleb was willing to have a strong faith along side of Joshua.

When Joshua began to lead the children of Israel, he was commanded by God to take courage. It takes great courage to have great faith. One cannot abide without the other. God was commanding Joshua to take courage to step out by faith. Joshua became the leader into the conquest of Canaan because of his great faith. Every man, woman, or child who is a child of God must have this amazing faith in God Almighty.

Thanks guys for thinking about and praying for camp! We are working hard at getting things ready to go. And looking forward to a great time of worship, fellowship and fun.

We’ll see you in about 6 weeks.

Calling ALL Ladies!!

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by Janet Widger
Some of you may know this and, yes, it is 22 months away but the BMA of America will be meeting in Springfield, MO for the 2015 annual meeting. Your WMA of MO ladies are already making plans to make this one of the best meetings for the Women’s Missionary Auxiliary.

Devotional Book
What we are asking for at this time is for each of you who have ever presented a devotional in a meeting to type it and submit it to be compiled in a book for our ladies to give away at the 2015 National WMA meeting. Please make sure that this is something you wrote. Do not send something you copied out of a book or other published means. We would like to have at least 52 devotionals but if we receive 365 that would be great.
Send them to:
Janet Widger
7409 Rupert Ave.
Richmond Heights, MO 63117.

and

Welcome Bags
The MO WMA planning committee for the 2015 annual BMA of America meeting is working in cooperation with the MO WMA retreat committee in procuring items for the Welcome Bags for both the 2014 MO WMA Retreat and the 2015 National WMA meeting. Many of you have some idea of what kinds of items we like to collect for these bags. If you have items for the retreat bags please contact Sis. Bea Evans from Stony Point Baptist Church, Potosi, MO or Sis. Chris Griggs from Emmanuel Baptist Church, Lemay, MO. If they receive more items than they need, they will pass those items on to the 2015 National WMA planning committee. If you wish to contribute items or money to help with the 2015 National WMA meeting please contact Sis. Juanita May from Ohlman Baptist Church, Bunker, MO.

So don’t look at the dates that are so far in advance and think you will take care of this later. With this much time to plan and promote both of these meetings, we should have a great response and participation.

June 2013 – Mission Director’s Report

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Once again, Pastor Jerry Adams and the folks at Bethel Baptist Church in Sikeston, were gracious and generous hosts for our annual Mission Symposium and mid-year meeting. We began the symposium on Friday evening with pie and ice cream in the fellowship center as we visited and talked with our missionary guests. We were honored to have Bro. and Mrs. Doyle Moore from the Philippians, Chris Huson, missionary elect to Ecuador, and John Beinlien, missionary to the deaf community in Swartz Creek, MI. Each one of them spoke of their vision and passion for reaching the lost in their respective fields. Bro. Moore finished out the evening with a message from God’s word. The total Symposium offering received to date was $3,054 for Camp Garwood.

The next morning during the semi-annual meeting, the association voted to give each of these men a $1,000 love offering for their work funds. Thank you for caring for our missionaries!

A few days after our meeting, tragedy struck the community of Moore, OK as a Category F-5 tornado tore through the neighborhood. During our national meeting in April I was privilege to visit two of our BMAA churches in Moore. Realizing that many of our BMAA families were affected by this storm, I asked our special mission committee to consider giving an offering help with relief. The brethren authorized me to send a check for $5,000 to Pastor Doug Brewer and the Southgate Baptist Church to help them to minister to those in need. Pray for this community and all the other communities that have been affected by storms this year.

I will be conducting a one-day Coaching Workshop at First Baptist, Potosi June 14 starting at 8:30 a.m. All are welcome to attend and it is free!

by Danny Kirk

Mid-Year Meeting of the BMA of Missouri

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The messengers of the Churches of the Baptist Missionary Association of Missouri met May 18, 2013, at 9:00 a.m. in the facilities of Bethel Missionary Baptist Church in Sikeston.
President Claude Evans called the meeting to order and the messnegers were seated as a call was made for changes in the By-laws.

The Missouri Missionary Baptist Loan Association Trustees presented changes in the By-laws for this committee which were necessitated by the incorporation of our association last year. These changes were adopted.

Bro. Don Burke was re-elected as our Recording Secretary and Bro. Dale Fish was re-elected as our Assistant Recording Secretary.
It was noted that the meeting place for our annual meeting needed to be changed and the moderator called for invitations. Bethany Baptist Church in St. Louis extended an invitation and the messengers voted to accept the invitation to meet at Bethany October 26, 2013, at 9:00 a.m.

Reports for the following entities were heard: The Kenneth E. Gibson Seminary Student Grant Fund; the Missouri Missionary Baptist paper; the Missouri Missionary Baptist Loan Committee; the Recording Secretary’s Report, and the ALIVE Committee.
The Missionary Committee met and recommended that we designate $800 of the director’s monthly salary as housing allowance. They also recommended that we give a love offering of $1,000 to each of the three missionaries who spoke ot the Missions Symposium Friday evening. Such offering was for their work funds.
Following the Missionary Committee meeting the messengers voted to approve their recommendations.

The Encampment report was given via a video presentation. Camp Evangelist for this year will be Bro. Wade Allen who is serving in the Phillipines.

The Brotherhood report was given.
All reports were accepted by the messengers.

A standing vote of appreciation was given to Bethel Baptist Church and Pastor Jerry Adams for their wonderful hospitality .
Bro Jerry Adams then brought a message that challenged us to be witness for Christ using examples of people in the Bible who let the Power of God help them witness to others.

Following the message the meeting was adjourned until October. We enjoyed a delicious meal provided by Bethel and a wonderful time of fellowship in the activity building.

Dinner & Concert

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July 13, 2013
Zion Baptist Church
3485 Baumgartner Rd. • St. Louis, MO

A spaghetti Dinner will be served from 3-5 p.m. In the fellowship hall, RSVP for the dinner would be appreciated:
Contact Janet Widger 314-566-7794 Or Connie Reifsteck 314-283-4973
The Harper Family Concert will take place at 6:00 p.m.

Love Offerings for the dinner will benefit Dalton Harper’s expenses for medical treatments.

Love offerings for the concert will benefit the Harper
Family as they minister to others through their music.

Make plans to attend and give a generous offering to the
dinner and the concert.

It will be a great time of fun, fellowship
and great music!!Harper Family

Happy Father’s Day

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We want to wish all the fathers a Happy Father’s Day. It is a huge responsibility to be a good father. Turn to God and His word for help.

CAMP GARWOOD SIGN

Camp Garwood News – From Bro. Chris Polk

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CAMP GARWOOD SIGNI would like to thank everyone who came to the paintball retreat. It was a little cool for those not playing. But the guys, and gals running through the woods seemed to enjoy it. There were 40-50 present with around 30? playing. I didn’t get a good count.
We’ve begun work on a few things preparing for camp. There will be plenty to do as we get closer to camp. Take time now to schedule a weekend to come help. It’s not about the work as much as enjoying time at your camping facilities. Thanks to all of you who do help every year.
The theme “Heroes of the Faith” from Hebrews 11:36 spans the centuries from Creation to present. Who has been an encouragement to you and why? Tell us their story, and how they have pointed you to Jesus.
Remember to pray for camp. It’s not too soon, the ones preparing camp need safety, wisdom and patience. The speaker and teachers need wisdom and insight. The facilities themselves need protection from vandals and nature. And most importantly the lost campers need seeds to be planted now to be reaped the week of camp.

From Missionary Jones – April 2013

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Dear Friends,
God has been blessing North Lake. This last Wednesday night, during one of our LifeGroup meetings, I noticed that 7 out of the 12 people who sat in my living-room were new believers. He has plans for all 12, but it was neat to recognize those 7. Seeing how God has used them over the past couple of years has been enjoyable. We are looking forward to adding to that number of new believers in the near future.

The Youth at North Lake who did the service project

My new associate missionary, Jared Kathcart led a successful “Disciple Now “weekend this last month. Our youth partnered with another church to complete a service project for a daycare in town. They painted, rearranged an office space, and studied Romans 12:1. We are seeing some new teens and ask that you pray for the salvation and discipleship of these young people.
This past Sunday we celebrated Easter. Our attendance was up, as we were blessed with 10 guests. The service was lively and smiles were adorning the faces of people who experienced some great worship through music, preaching, and fellowship. We worshiped a King who is alive!
Thank you to all who keep up with us, pray for us, and support us. We are blessed! We would like to ask that you diligently pray for us over the next six months. God is moving us forward toward His vision for North Lake and we have set several goals.
• Please pray that God would use us in His process of saving souls here in Smithville.
• Please pray for spiritual passion to increase among our people.
• Please pray for our Sunday morning worship gatherings to increase in attendance and fellowship.
Thank you and God Bless!
Jamie Jones